Shampoo, “check.” Sandals, “check.” Watch, “check.” All packed, and Camp Bighorn is materializing into something real and tangible. I think that I kind of just told myself that because I did not have everything that I needed, that it couldn't actually be happening yet. But leaving for Camp Bighorn is so much more real now, and frankly it is kind of scary. It is easier to encourage other people to trust God, but then it is yourself that has to trust God, it is so much more difficult! You realize why people have to pray that they would trust God;
as Francesca Battistelli says it:
"I’m giving into Your gravity, knowing that You are holding me."
I really need to be able to do that more. I’m ready practically, but I need your prayers to be prepared mentally. Because it is easy for me to say “I’m ready” just because I’m packed, and not even think about being mentally prepared.
Before I go into something I like to know what to expect from it; yet how can you expect the unexpected? Letting go of control is one of the thing that will be a challenge for me this summer, because I just feel more prepared if I know what is going to happen. I pretty much have always known what I’m getting into before I get into it, so Camp Bighorn is a first for a lot of things for me. I feel that I have always had my family with me,
and so this is my first kind of “stepping out by myself,”
instead of just doing what my family does and following them.
So I hope this summer I will be able to do what Mathew ten thirty nine says:
“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”
That I would be able to remember this verse and apply it to myself. Also that part of losing myself would be doing only what God wants me to do, and not care what other people think.
~DeLancey Grace
This is a wonderfully-expressed entry, DeLancey. It would be easy to assume these are the thoughts of a mature young Christian in her twenties. You appear to be of a fine mind, will and spirit to embark on what is bound to be a great adventure of growth and escalating trust in God's sovereignty and provision. When I first went off to boarding school, I was all of 14... a high school freshman in a strange, new place. I was blessed, though that my sister Ann was then a senior at that school and she helped me find my way. In like fashion, I'm thankful that you'll have your two amazing sisters sharing much of the experience with you. On the other hand, this is very much your unique, very personal journey. I look forward to rejoicing with you as our Lord lights your way and, yes, challenges you. Blessings, David
ReplyDeleteI'm clicking an imaginary "like" on both DeLancey's Blog and David's Comment. ☺
ReplyDeleteI don't know exactly what our Heavenly Father has planned for you this summer, but I do it's something good, and that He'll be holding you through it all. Bless you!