Our God is faithful and able to keep us holy, to walk us fully into the land.

God is teaching me of His faithfulness. This lesson started with the issue of control: where do I get my strength?  What do I rely on?  I knew that I was unable to do anything worthwhile, that the only good I could ever be a part of was with direct inspiration from God.  But I did not believe that, and that is what God has been teaching me.  It’s the change between learning something in class, and using it at work; knowing that I need God, and believing that He will be faithful.  And how faithful He is, my first official day of being the facilitation manager and I was up early, writing down questions, striving to prepare perfect facilitators that would feel confident and supported.  I couldn’t do it, I walked away from my first meeting with them feeling on the verge of despair.  That is when God started taking what I had been wrestling with and learning the past two weeks, and beginning to reshape my identity in Christ.  I started walking along a trail and praying for the facilitators for the week.  Somewhere along that quite appropriately rocky path, I was convicted to get down on my knees and pray earnestly for one of them.  So I did, then got back up, walked for a while more, then got back down and lifted the next one up in prayer.  As I asked God to work in and with and through them, I began to understand that God would prepare them.  Not my meeting in the morning with them; not my presence throughout the day giving encouragement and outside perspective; their strength would come from God.  My role was to have complete faith that God would give them that strength. 

            I want to be perfect, so when I am given a task I prepare and prepare, and I think and I organize and I set out what I need and rehearse what I am going to say.  I, I, I, I.  I do this, and I think that.  My source of strength was myself.  It wasn’t until Anjeli and I led a challenge course progression, (initiatives and obstacle courses) during staff training, where our theme was “Where is your strength?” Or as we progressed to: "Who is your strength?"  That I understood how I must be inadequate to be perfect. 

            Since then God has been faithful and able.  This week is a small camp, there are only three facilitators instead of eight to twelve like we  would usually have.  I struggled with the question of “What do I do?”  I’m busy every morning, during meals, and in the evening, talking to campers, youth group leaders, staff—especially the facilitators, but then between those times…?  I started praying Monday that God would give me work.  And He hasn’t failed me yet!  I don’t believe He ever will.  Yesterday I spent some time with a group as they went through the challenge course, listened to one of their debriefs and just got some insight into their group.  Then after lunch I walked around by the carpet ball tables, interacting with campers and internally on the brink of wondering if God was going to be faithful and give me work for the afternoon.  Then one of the facilitators came up to me and said, “Faith, do you want to go rafting with us?”  And you know what?  I almost said, “No, I should find some work to do.”  But then I opened my eyes and said to myself “Oh yeah!  This is the work God prepared for me to do.”  So I went rafting with the group, and I believe God was able to encourage those facilitators and give some love to the campers through me.  Which is amazing, because I am so inadequate. 

            If it sounds like I am saying the same thing over and over again, it’s because I’m not just learning my lesson and regurgitating the knowledge when asked, anymore.  God is actually being faithful, and I am actually being a part of His body. 

So friends, God is good.  I pray you are learning this completely with me. 

--faith

Where confidence is placed.

Good morning!  This is not exactly an "update," this is me just dropping a note to tell you about how God is working in me right now. 


This morning I woke up early with my mind and stomach in a curious mixture of nerves.  I am teaching the High Ropes Courses to a group of alumni summer staff for the next two days.  These next four days of training consist of two-day rotations; the returning summer staff has signed up for special training in specific areas such as kayaking, rock climbing, high ropes, rafting, etc.  I was asked a couple weeks ago to help one of the permanent staff members teach the high ropes rotation, and the challenge course rotation.  I said yes, and was excited for the opportunity to teach, as well as being a bit out of my comfort zone--really anything that involves public speaking is--but I was looking forward to it.  Well.  That permanent staff member had to suddenly attend a funeral on the east coast, which left me teaching all by me lonesome.  Thankfully, I was given time to plan, and another staff member was asked to help me.  [The sounds of breakfast are playing in the background, so I must be brief.]  So back to this morning, I awoke, prayed, reviewed my lesson plan and wrote some notes; then I had to break and read the devotional the whole staff is going through.  The verse on the top of the page was James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."  The entire devotional was speaking the truth I so desperately needed to hear, then as we sang and worshiped God together, I felt my confidence growing.  Not that I was going to be this great teacher, but that I am a disciple of the Great Teacher.  I felt like I could move mountains if God asked me.


I wish I had more time to share with you, but I am teaching in 40 minutes and I have gots to go.  


"And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in allthings, may have an abundance for every good work."
--II Corinthians 9:8


--faith

And We're Off!

  

Two days and sixteen minutes, and counting…

Shampoo, “check.”  Sandals, “check.”  Watch, “check.”  All packed, and Camp Bighorn is materializing into something real and tangible.  I think that I kind of just told myself that because I did not have everything that I needed, that it couldn't actually be happening yet.   But leaving for Camp Bighorn is so much more real now, and frankly it is kind of scary.  It is easier to encourage other people to trust God, but then it is yourself that has to trust God, it is so much more difficult!  You realize why people have to pray that they would trust God;

as Francesca Battistelli says it:

"I’m giving into Your gravity, knowing that You are holding me."

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wANs4_-i2vk)

I really need to be able to do that more. I’m ready practically, but I need your prayers to be prepared mentally.  Because it is easy for me to say “I’m ready” just because I’m packed, and not even think about being mentally prepared.

Before I go into something I like to know what to expect from it; yet how can you expect the unexpected?  Letting go of control is one of the thing that will be a challenge for me this summer, because I just feel more prepared if I know what is going to happen.  I pretty much have always known what I’m getting into before I get into it, so Camp Bighorn is a first for a lot of things for me. I feel that I have always had my family with me,

and so this is my first kind of “stepping out by myself,”

instead of just doing what my family does and following them.

So I hope this summer I will be able to do what Mathew ten thirty nine says:

“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” 

That I would be able to remember this verse and apply it to myself.  Also that part of losing myself would be doing only what God wants me to do, and not care what other people think.

~DeLancey Grace