Our God is faithful and able to keep us holy, to walk us fully into the land.

God is teaching me of His faithfulness. This lesson started with the issue of control: where do I get my strength?  What do I rely on?  I knew that I was unable to do anything worthwhile, that the only good I could ever be a part of was with direct inspiration from God.  But I did not believe that, and that is what God has been teaching me.  It’s the change between learning something in class, and using it at work; knowing that I need God, and believing that He will be faithful.  And how faithful He is, my first official day of being the facilitation manager and I was up early, writing down questions, striving to prepare perfect facilitators that would feel confident and supported.  I couldn’t do it, I walked away from my first meeting with them feeling on the verge of despair.  That is when God started taking what I had been wrestling with and learning the past two weeks, and beginning to reshape my identity in Christ.  I started walking along a trail and praying for the facilitators for the week.  Somewhere along that quite appropriately rocky path, I was convicted to get down on my knees and pray earnestly for one of them.  So I did, then got back up, walked for a while more, then got back down and lifted the next one up in prayer.  As I asked God to work in and with and through them, I began to understand that God would prepare them.  Not my meeting in the morning with them; not my presence throughout the day giving encouragement and outside perspective; their strength would come from God.  My role was to have complete faith that God would give them that strength. 

            I want to be perfect, so when I am given a task I prepare and prepare, and I think and I organize and I set out what I need and rehearse what I am going to say.  I, I, I, I.  I do this, and I think that.  My source of strength was myself.  It wasn’t until Anjeli and I led a challenge course progression, (initiatives and obstacle courses) during staff training, where our theme was “Where is your strength?” Or as we progressed to: "Who is your strength?"  That I understood how I must be inadequate to be perfect. 

            Since then God has been faithful and able.  This week is a small camp, there are only three facilitators instead of eight to twelve like we  would usually have.  I struggled with the question of “What do I do?”  I’m busy every morning, during meals, and in the evening, talking to campers, youth group leaders, staff—especially the facilitators, but then between those times…?  I started praying Monday that God would give me work.  And He hasn’t failed me yet!  I don’t believe He ever will.  Yesterday I spent some time with a group as they went through the challenge course, listened to one of their debriefs and just got some insight into their group.  Then after lunch I walked around by the carpet ball tables, interacting with campers and internally on the brink of wondering if God was going to be faithful and give me work for the afternoon.  Then one of the facilitators came up to me and said, “Faith, do you want to go rafting with us?”  And you know what?  I almost said, “No, I should find some work to do.”  But then I opened my eyes and said to myself “Oh yeah!  This is the work God prepared for me to do.”  So I went rafting with the group, and I believe God was able to encourage those facilitators and give some love to the campers through me.  Which is amazing, because I am so inadequate. 

            If it sounds like I am saying the same thing over and over again, it’s because I’m not just learning my lesson and regurgitating the knowledge when asked, anymore.  God is actually being faithful, and I am actually being a part of His body. 

So friends, God is good.  I pray you are learning this completely with me. 

--faith